i fail to stop loving you

I checked my friendster and i received a message from my dear friend. How things has changed so much. She is so lovely now. Still a very simple lady. She was my angel who helped me to pass my O level. I bet she has a good life at US now, she looks so pretty and change a lot. We were from bunch of gangster lol. And i believe she will be the most successful one among all of us. I wonder if she misses home, she has been there for 3 years plus and never once come back to Indo. I miss her.

But too many things happen in 3 years, and we have lost contact for so long. Suddenly i don't know what to say or where to start.
But though the chemistry has lost, forever still i will see her as a superwoman.

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I am tired.
And i am on my own.
I will try my best to just leave everything on me.
Seeing no one as a guidance or angel.
Nobody there.
Only one and that's me.
Yet i am still tired.

God loves me.
I feel that.
I can't stop smoking though i know it's wrong.
Somehow addicted to it.
My way on handling stress.
I can't let go yet.

I do want to leave and let you rest.
Without me,
maybe you can see a better sunlight.
More beautiful, more lovely, wonderful you.
But..
I never can.
I fail, even try to open the exit door.
I fail, to walkaway.
I fail to stop loving you.
I fail to leave you alone.
I fail to be happier.
I fail.
i fail to let you go.