Day #20

I am in no good shape. I have said i would take leave tomorrow, but i guess i would be back for money.

Even my two months salary couldn't buy 'it'. " It " - something that's not for myself, but for F*cker. Today was my first time scolding out bad words inside the office and bus. I didn't care if somebody heard me.

So many things in my mind. And if......

If only i wasn't here now, this thing wouldn't happen.

Had i not been stubborn,

Had i been a filial daughter, this thing wouldn't happen.

I regret so much staying here. I regret i never listen, i regret about everything.

What would i do?
I wish to tell my mom what is happening. But i know i will be more stress if she knows, though she just trying to help, But i can't help myself.

I am sorry.

Had i listened to you a year ago.


I only feel safe - staying in my real home. The most precious thing ever in life, is just to live with your own family, in your own house. To everyone out there who has better luck than me, cherish what you have today, tomorrow, and your future.

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Would i have a better day if i never come to Singapore?
I have no idea if it was a right choice.
It has been more than three years here. Now the only thing in my mind is...
I don't plan to stay long enough after i graduate. Perhaps i should just go back and find a job. Maybe i would be happier. I would not have to feel through all these. Safe alone at my own home.

I am so jealous with you all who has a home.

I can't wait to go home.

I am glad i never signed the bond with Singapore government. I can leave anytime.

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I need a break.

I am not filial, i had my parents worried about me all the time??
God... , is this your punishment?
I am sorry.

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Leave me alone today.